I started this blog thinking not many would be interested in the read. I'm writing this blog to help me sort through my own feelings and thoughts. To help pave a way for my children and give them the best of me.
Today at church a awesome sermon was preached. You can be used, you're not worthless. God can mold even the most sinful into a tool to serve him. That was the jist of it.
I often feel like I'm a terrible person. I feel like I've been through too much to ever be used by God or to be a example to others. I've even felt, as I raise my hands in church, that it's not a right of mine.
I know this may sound silly to you, because if you're reading this and you're a Christian you know that sin is sin. God died so we may have life in him and freedom.
So why do we place these chains in our mind? Why do we not allow his death to heal us?
The sin in our lives is there because we're human. Satan likes to use this against us. Even though that sin can be forgiven in a second through our creator. Satan doesn't want us to ask for forgiveness. It's his tool to ruins us and create a life that leads no where. Is dark, angry and helpless.
My life, although not very long has been chalked full of amazing experiences, but some also very terrible, heart wrenching and painful experiences. These experiences have left me angry and sad, I also constantly feel judged. I feel judged by those who don't even know my past. These thoughts are purely put there by Satan.
He doesn't want to see me succeed or be happy. Everyday is a constant battle to ask God to override these thoughts and fill me with joy and peace, and he does!
I'm not worthless, and God WILL use me. He has and will surround me with people that love me and need me. He will use me to help the hurting the lost and empty. He will also put me in peoples lives so I may be loved and saved.
Does this sound like a bunch of jumble to you? I'm sorry but I just wanted to write down my thoughts on today's sermon and where it took my thoughts.
It gives me so much hope that I am not broken, I'm worth it. I'm glad that I've a God who doesn't care that I'm so cracked and broken. He sees me as perfect and forgives me and wants to mold me into a beautiful masterpiece. What a amazing and wonderful God I have.
*Sorry my thoughts are all over the place. As stated in one of my first posts.. my writing will be all over the place. This is a more emotional subject for me.
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